I just flipped a switch…
shorts: american eagle mom shorts
https://www.ae.com/ca/en/p/women/high-waisted-shorts/mom-shorts/denim-mom-shorts/0338_5561_508?menu=cat4840004
Sweater: DIY
I get countless DM’s and comments asking me about where my self confidence came from, and we are going to get into it today! But first, I need to take a moment to let it sink in for me. I am someone who had no confidence three years ago. None, zero, zilch. I was always able to fake a smile, and pretend I did, but at the core of me there wasn’t any. I wouldn’t have been able to tell you one thing I truly loved about myself without telling you the one thousand things I hated about myself. If you asked that me if I would be where I am today, I would of laughed at you. Loudly.
So when I tell you that it takes time, but it works, I mean it. I am living proof.
I work for this incredible company that really believes in taking care of their people, we are currently working through these resilience modules that really put into perspective how I built up my confidence. We call it the possibility mindset. Essentially what this boils down to is reassessing your perspectives and then repositioning it in your mind. That sounds really fluffy when I type it out, but stay with me.
So in my mind three years ago my fixed reality was that I hated my legs, they were too big, to muscular, and they weren’t flattering. This is what I believed to be true in my mind but without knowing it I started to stay curious. I started to reassess my legs by cutting out negative self talk about them - which was repositioning them in my mind. I started to call them powerful and strong. I began to change my fixed reality of them. I began to love my legs and the things they allowed me to do.
I did this with my arms, my hair, even my eyes. I built up every inch of myself. I changed my reality by being kind to myself and more importantly talking kindly to myself. I cut out words like hate and dislike when referring to my body, changed them too strong, or unique.
A lot of people will tell you to stand in the mirror and look yourself naked and find something you love about yourself, or tell yourself you are beautiful. That was too much too quick for me. In fact I tried it once and just stood there crying. I needed to start smaller, I needed to change my reality of parts of myself before I could change my perspective of everything at once. I have said it before, and I will say it until I am blue in the face, this didn’t happen over night. It took time, lots and lots of time. To this day I still have days when I don’t feel great, where I feel like I’m not enough or even start to see myself using negative self talk. On those days I step back, I assess where these feelings are coming from and I work through them. I reassure myself that they are just fleeting thoughts and that they will pass. I find the thing that I love the most about myself that day and I celebrate it like crazy! Probably so much that it drives the people around me nuts.
The best advice I can give anyone is reassess your fixed realities and thoughts about yourself, banish that negative self talk, and be gentle with yourself. Confidence and self love is something we all deserve, and I am living proof that we can all have it.