Build each other up from the core
Bralette: Torrid
Skirt: The Bay
Shirt: DIY
I have spent an ungodly amount of time watching Keeping up with the Kardashians over the past week (not my proudest quarantine accomplishment). I am a sucker for cringe worthy TV that is a little mind numbing at times. I have quickly started to realize how much damage this show really can do to people. I shouldn’t be surprised. This is a family that has made millions off being beautiful, skinny, and living a life of excess.
I was watching an episode just before Khole announced that she was pregnant where Kim was yet again complaining about how fat she was and how she needed to go on some crazy diet and then turned her attention to Khloe’s body and proceeded to tell her that she was also gaining weight and needed to drop some pounds. If that whole conversation wasn’t bad enough, it all took place in front of Kims little girl North.
At this point of watching ALL of my red flags were out, and they were flapping in the winds. There is SO much wrong with all of this, and here I am to break it down for you.
Where do I even start! Let me say this loud and clear for everyone, it is not okay to use the word fat to describe a body that isn’t in a derogatory way. It just isn’t. Fat is a descriptor, when we use it to negatively describe something we are giving the word power, and negative power at that. By doing this we saying there is something wrong with living in a body shape or size that is not celebrated by todays beauty standards. We are perpetuating the fat-phobic movement and shaming other. Secondly, when someone with influence continuously shames their body (the body that the media essentially deems as perfect) they are setting unprecedented standards for people to sadly look up too. Kim essentially by calling herself fat on TV is saying that not even her, not even the gold standard of beauty standards right now is good enough. That we all must continue to live in these smaller bodies to have worth of value. That not even she is small enough and must work harder to be more “perfect” and fit into this mould. I will never take away the hard work and genetics that go into how the Kardashians look, but continuously picking themselves apart on TV is just playing into unattainable standards and is doing everyone a disservice. I want to honestly just hug her sometimes and tell her that in the grande scheme of things, your body size isn’t what matters.
The second part that stood out for me was when Kim told Khole she was getting fat and needed to loose some weight. Say it with me everyone STOP COMMENTING ON OTHER PEOPLES BODIES. This is the perfect example of you never know what is going on with someones health or life, and no one has any place to say a damn thing about how someone looks. There are so many problems with commenting on other peoples bodies no matter what their shape or size is and this goes for both sides of the scale, you don’t know if someone is struggling with an eating disorder or an underlying medical condition. Further more, you don’t know by looking at someone if they are completely comfortable in their own skin. It is not ever anyones place to comment on someones shape, body or size. This trend of sharing our thoughts of how someones body looks just needs to end.
Last but not least, and what I actually think is the most troubling part of any of this is that it all took place in front of North. Kids are incredibly impressionable and it is our job as adults to teach them to be accepting, confident people who grow up and rule the world. By body shaming yourself or those around you around a child is teaching them that you don’t have value, and are not beautiful if you aren’t a certain size. It scares me to think that children are learning their worth from TV and social media, that they are being shown and told that when you grow up you need to look like this for someone to want you, or to be successful. We are teaching them that above all else, looks and other peoples impressions of you are what matter. We are teaching them that it is more important to be a size 2 than it is to have a brain, or be kind.
We need to stop these actions for ourselves, for our children, and for their futures. I challenge you, next time you don’t feel your best take a minute to focus on something you do love about yourself. Next time your daughter is watching someone pick apart their own body, teach her that looks and size don’t matter. Next time you are around someone else’s kids tell them they are smart or funny or kind instead of telling them how cute they are. Let’s all work on building our value from our core. Lets build up those around us by sharing what we appreciate about WHO they are not WHAT they look like. Lets do better then the Kardashians.