BoPo: Growing popularity helpful or harmful
1) Im sorry is been so dang long.
2) Im starting this off with acknowledging that I have privilege in the plus size world. I am a 14/16, I am white, I am “curvy” and I have a “pretty face with big boobs”. This gives me privilege.
The body positivity community has gained so much traction over the last few years, something I am truly grateful for, it has made room for me to have a voice, and a space in it. It has made it possible for me to share my story and my journey and has allowed me to help other people, or at least brighten some peoples days. But this traction has also created mass popularity around the movement. Popularity that has gotten the attention of people that dont understand what it is like to be the “fat funny friend” or to have strangers comment on your health or weight simply because of how you show up every day. Popularity that now has influencers and people on the internet distorting their bodies to show up looking “brave” showing their “trouble spots”. And Ill be honest, this makes my blood boil.
The bopo movement started in the 60’s with some brave ass black womxn who wanted people to understand that its okay to not be white and skinny. That they were just as beautiful and as valid as any other person out there and that curves are natural as hell! (there is so much more about this, and I need to write about it one day, and I promise I will) BUT lets never forget where the roots of this all came from. Fast forward to today, and if you search the hashtag #bopo or #bodypositivtiy on instagram its all white woman, and a lot of them straight sized. I know I am white, and again I acknowledge this gives me privilege.
My problem, and what has really got me going today, as I write this, is that I truly dont believe (and this is going to get me in trouble) that people who have never lived in a plus size body can understand, relate to, or sympathize with what it is like to be fat. You, they, as a straight sized person do not understand what it is like to walk into a store and not find something that fits you. Or understand how it feels when a stranger comments on your health or tells you that you are glorifying obesity simply because you chose to make a conscious effort to not hate yourself.
Now I do believe the growing popularity of this movement is helpful. I wish when I was 18 and gained 80 lbs in a year I could of looked on the front of a magazine or scrolled through my instagram and had seen a body like mine telling me I didn’t need to be thin to be worthy. It would of probably saved me years of hating myself and thousands of dollars on quick fix diets. So yes, in a nutshell I believe the growing popularity of bopo is doing good (or I wouldn’t of worked, and continue to work in this space) but what is not helpful is brands that have outright said that they dont want fat people in there clothes (lulu lemon I’m looking at you) or influencers that wear a size two showing up, distorting their bodies to form a roll or some bloating and then saying they understand.
Lets start with brands. Being size inclusive is hard work. I get that. Lunching a brand from the beginning that ranges from a 0-32 is a big undertaking. I grew up in retail. I understand (I think there is a lot of work that needs to be done, and thats a whole other blog post, but lets leave that for another time) But when a brand like lulu lemon shows up, makes comments about how their clothing is NOT for all bodies, and then comes out with 2 additional sizes in 6 skus, in 3 different colours and wants an award for the “hard work” that they did over the last 3 years to create this expansion it is performative. It is not because they want to be inclusive. It is showing up to the party late to save face and wanting a pat on the back for doing so. It is also saying that we as a multi billion dollar company that has every resource at their fingertips and have made the conscious decision that people up to this size only get to wear our pants, and lets make a big deal out of it at the same time, because we are doing good work. I do not believe that Lulu Lemon or any other brand that has jumped on this band wagon in the last year has good intentions. Do not be tricked by a marketing ploy, that is 100% all this is.
Next onto influencers moving into this space to be brave. I do need to disclose that body dysmorphia happens at all sizes, and that thin people can lack confidence, and I am sure are body shamed. I will never take that away from anyone. I sympathize with that, and body shaming at any size is not okay. I have seen a growing amount of womxn post these photos of “instagram vs reality” I am sure that you have all seen them. On the instagram side looking snatched, and on the reality side slumped over, poking at a roll, or “bloated”. And are obviously distorting their bodies to do so. The problem with this is that your “reality” isnt even close to what my most “snatched” picture is! Your reality is harmful and you are being praised for showing up and being so brave to show that even a size two has rolls. If you dont follow Raffela Mancuso you need to - she talks about this all the time. This is again at the end of the day saying and telling people that “this” reality is okay, but the reality that you live in, or I live in, is not. Its again just setting a standard for beauty that is harmful. I truly and sadly believe that this hype and these pictures are just being posted because the bopo movement has gained popularity and its a publicity stunt for likes and engagement.
Being someone who lives in a bigger body, I can whole heartedly tell you nothing I have ever posted where I talk about my body had been done to get people to tell me I am brave, or for a like. Its been done because we need more people out there sharing their story that just because you dont live in a small body doesn’t mean that you cant feel beautiful. I dont do this because I need thin people to sympathize with me, or understand what a day in body is like, I do this because I wish someone did this when I was younger, or when I hated myself the most. Moral of the story is at the end of the day dont worry if your reality isn’t the same as those in a thin body, or you cant fit into the new pants at lulu. You are valid. You are beautiful, and you matter.