Small Victories are the ones that Matter.
shirt: thrifted and DIY’d
skirt - winners
denim shirt - old navy
glasses - bailey nelson
First and foremost I want to apologize for my absence from here - its been a month and a half since my last post (which is wild!) but I consciously decided to take the time I would spend on my own blog and instead spend it reading, researching and learned from BIPOC voices on their bogs to become a better ally. Something I am so glad I decided to do.
Since I could remember I am someone who has celebrate the small victories of everyone around ,me. I would celebrate them with my teams at work giving out high fives like they were going out of style. I would celebrate them with friends by showing up every day for them, giving words of encouragement, sending flowers, or sending “you go girl!” texts. I celebrated with family and even strangers, but I didn’t celebrate my own small victories. .
I have always set very lofty goals for myself in every aspect of my life. From weight loss, financial, work and even relationships. Goals that I did not feel like I was worthy of celebrating until I achieved them. For example, 5 years ago I decided to set a weight loss goal of 100 lbs (this was still in my yo-yo dieting days), and did not celebrate a single pound loss until I hit the 100 lb mark. People would ask me if I had lost weight and I would play it off like I wasn’t tracking every single pound I had lost beating myself up about the fact that I wasn’t losing fast enough. I convinced myself that until I hit 100 lbs I did not deserve to be celebrated. I convinced myself that I as a human was not worthy of recognition from myself until my goal was achieved and I was then good enough. Looking back on this now, this is the most dangerous way of thinking, Its a way to set yourself up for failure and do so much more harm than good.
I remember waking up one morning after a day of starving myself and then eating everything in my house at about 1 am (including a tub of cream cheese) and thought to myself, why is it that I can show up for everyone around me, but I dont do it for myself? How can I be everyones biggest cheerleader and genuinely mean it but be so hard on myself. I knew I needed to shift that mentality and become my own biggest fan if I ever had a hope of truly loving myself. I thought long and hard that day about what I did differently for those around me that I could do for myself and it came to me. Celebrate every victory, no matter how small.
This started off with honestly the smallest things, did I take time to pack a lunch, did I hang up my clothes, make my bed, go to bed at a reasonable time. These things might sound insignificant, but they were things that I took time out of my day to do for no one but myself. They were things that I did to show myself that I cared about me, and that in fact I am worthy of celebrating. These actions and celebrations continued to grow. I started forcing myself out of my comfort zone and did things that I normally wouldn’t dare doing, wearing a bikini, wearing shorts, a crop top, tucking my shirt in. Giving myself permission to celebrate these small things allowed me to take the time to build my confidence and associate positive feelings and honestly even joy with these small actions. And lets face it, this small action of taking the time to celebrate allow the reward center of our brains to release dopamine which energizes us with that feel good emotion we all love and need to feel! See its science, therefore it must work!
This is something that has become second nature to me, stopping and celebrating. I attribute this to why I am so smiley all the time. I spend the day having these small celebration dance parties in my head (and sometimes…a lot of the time in public).
I figure why not celebrate my own small victory with you guys today. About 7 months ago I shattered my wrist, elbow and broke a bone in my arm, I had surgery and kind of accepted the fact that there were things that I would most likely never do again. One of those things was hang from a bar (that may be some serious fear from when I broke it). At CrossFit this morning I freaking did it. I hung from a bar and did strict knee raises!! Is this so far from where I used to be? Totally! But am I more excited about hanging from that bar then I was the first time I got a toes to bar (sorry for the CrossFit jargon for those who have no clue what I am talking about!!) YES!! I am honestly more proud of myself today then I knew was possible! And this small victory is setting me up for a day of other small victories which in turn make for a day where I feel so good about myself, so good in my skin, and go to bed with a massive smile on my face knowing that today I showed up for myself and was the best version of myself I could be! And really what more can you ask for in life!
Today, take the time. Celebrate the small wins. Pat yourself on the back for taking a step no matter how big or small. I believe in you and I am right there celebrating with you, because you deserve it.